Mortification

I realize, that as the mom of 5 children, moments of mortification are bound to happen. However, it still doesn't make it any easier when they do.

A little background. When T2 gets a cold, he ends up flat on his back for a 24 hour period just miserable. I could tell last Friday morning we were in for an episode when he wasn't hungry and wanted to take a nap. We were going to good friends' house for dinner that night. He spent the whole afternoon and evening coughing (I actually think it was some allergy thing, too). After dinner he went and laid down on their stairs and then we just moved him to a pile of pillows on the floor. LP had fun just sitting on his head. But I digress. My mom was also at said friends' house for the evening. The kids were all hunkered down in the living room watching a movie and T2 kept coughing. My mom thought a drink of water would be just what T2 needed. he told her that he didn't want one but you know that we moms (and grammas) know best;0). The next thing I hear is, "Kate, he just threw up!" WTG, Gramma. It only happened because of the coughing but it was still all over my friend's white chair. We get T2 and the chair cleaned up as besst as we can. The Captain says that we need to get going. I agree and get the rest of the crew packed up. 10 minutes later, the Captain is still talking. I then hear my mother go, "Oh, no!!!" and start laughing. LP was sitting with T2 on the base of the chair (without cushion) that had just been puked on and somehow she managed to blow out and up the back of her diaper ALL OVER THE CHAIR!!! Yes, mortification had now set in. My friend (and we have been friends since diaper days) was laughing so hard she was crying. I was, too, but I was still so embarrassed.

Fast forward to this morning. BP spent Saturday night with my mom and apparently had a very good time. My mom called this morning to talk and shared that they have some really good conversations. Mom starts out by telling me, "BP says that you (me) told her that Grandpa L & I got divorced because G-pa found someone prettier than me". My mouth hit the floor and I just said "What?!?!" My mom was totally laughing at this and I assured her that I NEVER said anything like that and it is no way true (my dad's 2nd & 3rd wives could not and do not hold a candle to my mother in any way). I told her that if BP wanted to know about your divorce that she would have to ask you or Grandpa L. Then my mother proceeds to tell me that she also now knows that my husband and I sleep in the buff (and so does anyone else reading this). Yet another moment of complete MORTIFICATION. My mom said that she had to ask BP how it was she knew this (she was afraid BP had walked in on "something"). BP said it was because "one night she couldn't breathe and she had to come in and get medicine and mommy had to put her clothes on to help me". At this point I just kept saying, OMGoodness, I can't believe she said that, I am mortified.....you get the picture. Dave comes in the room at this point and hears me talking and wants to know what is going on. I told him HE could talk to my mom. She tells him "I hear you're sleeping naked with my daughter" and he replies "I just can't help myself". The two of them are laughing hysterically and I am just MORTIFIED!!! I know it's OK, we are two married people but good grief does my mother need to know?!?!!?

And I thought nothing could make me speechless anymore