I'm Back

Life just keeps on plugging along. It’s been about three months since I’ve been here. It’s hard sometimes to motivate myself to come here. So many things happen but so little time to write. I have to stop and think about the purpose of writing, too. This needs to be an outlet for me – not a “who likes me” thing. Sad to say, but at 36 years young, I am a still hyper sensitive to what others think of me. I need to shed that (along with a few other things). It needs to get back to what I started it for – My Hearth, My Home, My Passion. Getting caught up in the “Babylon” that is our world takes the focus off of where God has placed me and the role He has given me.

I have to say that changing to dial up, though a pain for necessary things, has helped keep me off the computer. I can’t believe how easy it was to spend 2-3 hours in the evening just sitting here accomplishing next to nothing. Of course, for the past month I have spent those 2-3 hours reading each night and have gone through approximately 25 books!!! But it felt so good because it was something for me.

We said goodbye to my sister, BIL and kids last night. They are moving to SC tomorrow morning (or perhaps tonight). BIL will be working at the mission headquarters until they are ready to leave for Peru. We’ll still be seeing them a couple more times when they travel back up here for some prior obligations but it is one step closer to the reality of being gone long term. I haven’t really let my mind accept it yet. I was fine until walking out the door last night and hugging my sister. Our relationship has changed so much the 1.5 years they’ve been back and I have loved every minute of it. The kids put everything into “in 5 years when our cousins get back from Peru” timeframe. I don’t think they really comprehend what that means.

There’s a messy situation at Dave’s work that is making me a bit stressed and nervous. His truck needs major repair work and we have decided that it’s not worth fixing and he just went and got a new (to us) truck. This has added stress to us both because our goal is to be financially responsible with God has blessed us with and work at eliminating debt. I know that this is a temporary setback and God will provide and meet the needs. I also know that this is where I need to “get back on my knees” and leave this in His hands. Spiritually, I feel like I have been coasting for a while. I always seem too busy to spend real, quality time with my Father. How come I know the way to have peace and contentment is to give my burdens to Him, yet it takes for me to get so stressed out before I realize that’s what I should have done first???

Jacob is home sick today with flu-like issues. I am praying we don’t spend April vacation the same way we spent February with everyone sick. Since all three kids are napping now, I am going to make the time I need to read and pray. Signing off.